Choosing Interdependency
As a young working professional, the idea of having a career, social life, dating life, personal life as a one-size-fits-all sort of deal just never resonated with me. I'm dependent in a sense that I still live with my parents. My mom still does my laundry, cooks my meal, irons my shirts, and etc. I don't need to pay for mortgage or worry about car insurance. I guess this explains why I always attribute my successes to my beautiful mother. For over twenty-two years, I have been financially dependent on my parents. This has changed over the past month or so since I'm finally able to make enough money to cover my expenses, which has been stressful but equally gratifying. Just the other day, I even rewarded myself with a new pair of black stilettos and it felt amazing. I felt like I earned it and you know what? There's nothing wrong with treating yourself to something nice every once in awhile.
Moving on, my transition from dependence to independence (as Covey would explain it) has been a fairly smooth one. My family and friends are all extremely supportive. I able to invite my mom, little brother, and Danny to my company's soft launch party just last month. I'm currently taking on a couple of weekend projects with other companies on the side. Keeping myself busy and getting back on that mojo felt right.
My newly found independence has not only allowed me to gain a sustainable income, I am now in a place where I may actually consider stepping into the dating scene again. By dating, I don't mean swiping left or right on a Tinder application or seeing a different guy every week. I mean to actually devote some time into getting to know someone. Instead of broadening my network, something I have already been mastering, perhaps this is a good time to invest in a person or so. To discover their likes, their dislikes, their quirks, what makes them tick, and anything beyond the superficial exterior. I want to let you know that this is a hugeeeee leap for me. Throw this idea to me a couple of weeks ago and I probably would have rolled on the floor laughing. Khanh, for as long a I can remember, does not do commitments, but all that has changed about three days ago when I picked up my book again.
It took a couple of readings for me to finally come to a conclusion that independence and interdependence are not mutually exclusive whatsoever. I lived with the notion that while I was dependent on my mom and independent in nature, sacrificing my career to pursue something as minuscule as a relationship would eventually deter me away from my ultimate goal. After finishing another chapter, however, Covey made it clearer to me that much of my past personal achievements came from collaborative efforts - interdependence. He says that no matter how exceptional I am or how productive I can be, there will always be some sort of limitation when it comes to being independent. In light of this, I have now chosen to broaden my perspective and be open to building and nourishing interdependent, highly effective relationships. The idea (in summary) is that two is better than one.
I guess the question right now is...so who's going to be the lucky guy?