The Things That Matter

It's almost midnight right now, but before I head to bed, I wanted to write down a couple of things that's currently running through my mind as I finish up my reading on seeking happiness and finding success. Plain and simple. The author briefly discussed the notion of success and how it can negatively impact our lives if we consistently try to believe that success boils down to one single moment, one single milestone. Not too long ago, I dated a guy who presumably had everything. At 23 years old, he has a two-story house, two cars, two beautiful little puppies, a steady job, and well...me. To me, he was the definition of success. To him, not so much. Every time we were together, he would talk about his new business venture and the amount of money he wanted to make in the near future. He even asked me if I was interested in being partners with him, but that was a red flag right there. Uh uh. No way. If it's one thing I learn, it's that I should never mix business with pleasure. Definitely not the best go-to combination. While his drive was extremely admirable and sexy, it was often times very difficult for me to be in the same room as him. For hours, this person would express how unhappy he was with the amount of money he's making. Again, this coming from the same guy who purchases only designer labels and high-end products. It was, at times, quite frustrating to see how torn he was between choosing prestige and money over delayed gratification.

At this point, it was only a matter of time before I discovered an absolute truth. This person has no room for me in his heart. Despite knowing this, I chose to treat him extremely well. I wanted him to see how purposeful life can be when he stops seeking for happiness in all the wrong places. To some degree, I liked him, of course, but better than that, day after day, I chose to be with him.  I knew, however, that what we had would never be enough. This is not to say that I'm not good enough. I held all the qualities he wanted in a partner, but we just never reach that level of compromise or commitment. For this very reason, I could never picture us having a future together. It just wasn't possible.

Normally, when a person recognizes this kind of truth about her man, she is likely to feel some sort of negative emotion. Not me. I wasn't angry at him, nor was I sad or disappointed. Instead, I feel for the poor guy. I cannot imagine living a life where I am consistently searching for happiness in monetary items. If you know me, you can clearly see why this person and I would never work out (not accounting other things as well). We were much too different and I wasn't planning to ever compromise my happiness in hopes that I could change a person's outlook entirely. I would love to be the person that makes someone a better man, but it's not my place to purposely try to change a person just because. After all, he grew up with this mentality and we know how that old saying goes, "Habits die hard."

Lesson I learned: choose to be with people who understands and values the importance of seeking happiness in life's small joys.