Politeness is Poison

I find it incredibly difficult to make certain decisions due to the notion that I am an old soul who very much values politeness, etiquette, and professionalism. However, it has become increasingly more difficult as I find myself battling between my assertive self vs. my passive self. Stephen Brewster, the creative arts pastor at Cross Point, made an outstanding point when he said that politeness dilutes ideas and Edwin Land would like to call it the "poison of collaboration." I'm not saying that it's easy to be polite all of the time because it's not. Small things such as opening doors for people, saying thank you, and being appreciative come pretty natural for me but that's only because I've made it a habit to do those things. Even then, there's still a huge gap between politeness and honesty. Yes, you can have both, but for me, it can be extremely unsettling when borders are being crossed and I am forced to either choose one over the other. It's not to say that I favor dishonesty. It's just that I'm a person who dreads all sorts of confrontation; therefore, don't be surprise when you see me walk away from the situation entirely. Although I am very well that this is probably not the most productive way to go about things, truthfully, I don't even understand why I am so hesitant when it comes to fighting these giant elephants in the room. Chances are, I would pretend that they were meant to be there all along. There are actually quite a number of instances when I have to challenge my policy decisions that don't quite align with my values; ie) tell a friend that what she did was wrong, speak up about a colleague's lack of effort, ask the creeper guy to please go away, etc. etc. Now I have no intent in becoming a dismissive person because maintaining that sensibility is important to me. However, the question here is which matters more when given the circumstance? Politeness or honesty? While I am not a person to mutter disparaging comments or become prickly/defensive, it's important for me to really learn how to speak my mind and voice my opinion. In order to go about this, I will need to reassess my attitude towards this subject of politeness vs honesty. The main objective here is for me to become a better leader, speaker, and overall, person. Wish me luck, guys.