I said to my friend, "And the sad thing is that when I start to care less, he’s going to start to try more." It saddens me to know that in this day and age, this statement has never been more true. Previous experiences in the workforce, in college, and in my romantic life has helped reinstall those silly words in my head. There's also that old saying that goes something along the lines of, "The one who holds power in any relationship is the one who cares less." Initially, I found the whole notion surrounding it to be completely absurd. How is it ever okay to give only 80 percent when your friend or business partner is giving their 110? Since when is it a bad thing to show more compassion, be more loving, and open to those around you? Because of that conceptualization, I've spent years going the extra mile for my loved ones. Luckily for me, I've been surrounded by generous and easy-going people. They've blessed me with their time, their trust, and their love. But that doesn't mean that I haven't met some bad eggs because I most definitely have, which explains why I've recently adopted the "IDGAF" mantra. Yes, I may come off as a cynic; however, my attitude towards people has nothing to do with my not wanting to care. Instead, it has a lot to do with my not wanting to deal with the possibility of getting hurt. In no way do I fear pain or the thought of vulnerabilities, but at this very moment, I do not have the energy or mental capacity to face those two things.
I promise that these walls will not be up forever. If you're someone who holds a significance place in my heart, the guard that I am talking about isn't even applicable to you. However, I have spent years building every cement each and every single time a relationship or friendship fails; therefore, it is only natural for me to be extra cautious. In this past year alone, I've watched people swing, flee, and run just to avoid uncomfortable situations entirely. It may seem laughable and cowardly, but we're all guilty of this. It's definitely not one of my proudest achievements, especially since I know that I am so much more than that. You are so much more than that. With this said, I hope you know that if you're someone special to me, I am more than happy to give you my time, my love, and my attention. I will walk that extra mile for you. You'll be treated like the royalty, fabulous person that you are because you are deserving of the world. And when given the option, for you, I will always choose to be caring.
If there's one thing I want you to take away from this post, it is this. Don't give people the power to control your smile, your worth, and your attitude. Be with those who recognizes your worth and treats you the way that he/she would like to be treated.