The Lessons I've Learned From Younger Guys
There's this old inside joke that my girlfriends and I have, which may or may not involve me prying on a younger herd. For the most part, I tend to briefly laugh it off only to agree with them seconds later. But let me just throw something out there, I have never ever dated someone who was younger than me (My ex doesn't count because we were only a month apart). Am I attracted to younger guys? Most definitely. Older guys? Sure. Guys my age? Rarely. However, age disparity has never been a problem for me until now. It's not because I have a strange obsession with teenage boys because that is just plain sickening but because of several other factors which I am about to share with you today. Boy #1 Let's call him 'A'
It was the summer of my Sophomore year in college when my mom sent me to Hawaii for a whole month to work a summer restaurant job for my auntie. It was quite the experience for me because I had to work the cashier, take down people's food, wash the dishes, and at times, make the food. Yes, you'd never believe me if I told you that Khanh was actually in the kitchen but for a whole month, that was all that I ever did.
Since my aunt's small restaurant was located right by Pearl Harbor, there was a good amount of customers coming in. For the most part, they were mostly middle-aged marines and they usually come in during their lunch break.
And so I was barely a week in to training when I met A. He'd occasionally stop by to order a pho combination (Large) and he would always go alone. I never really talked to him until his third visit. I still remember that day very well. He sat at the back corner of the room by himself and since it was 3:30 PM or so, the place was completely empty. I, hating the fact that I had nothing to do, took the initiative and asked him how his day went. He told me he got out of school and that he was doing okay. We exchanged a couple of small talks here and there before he walked up to the cash register to pay for the bill. That was when I finally had a good look at his face. He had light hazel eyes, ruffled brown hair, and fair skin. A 'Hapa,' my favorite mix.
"If you don't mind me being rude but what's your ethnicity?" I asked.
"You're not from around here are you?" he replied.
"No, I"m from California." (My favorite pickup line of the summer. Works every time)
"I'm half Mongolian and German."
-Oh, no wonder you're so drop dead gorgeous-
"That's awesome. Well, it's nice to meet you."
After our first conversation, I would see him a couple of times before I had to head back to Cali, but as always, our exchanges were always brief and casual. He was always very well-mannered and left a $5 tip for his $7 bowl. Because of his introverted demeanor, I was left feeling extremely curious so one day I asked my coworker if he knew the guy who always ate at the restaurant by himself and luckily for me, he did. "Oh, him? We go to the same high school. He dances."
'High school?!' That was my very first reaction. Oh, great. This has never happened to me before. You're telling me that out of all the beautiful specimen in Hawaii, the one that actually caught my attention happens to be a high school student? Wow. I'd never thought this day would come. Immediately, I began to psychologically erase his image from my head. Admittedly, I also felt a sense of guilt and embarrassment. Yes, he was only three years younger but can you imagine the amount of laughter I'd receive if I told my college friends that I am crushing on a high schooler? They would never let me get away with it.
Thankfully, I had amazing girlfriends who simply laughed it off when I told them about my summer. I even show them a picture of him and even they have to agree that he was quite the eye candy. Did I also mention that he was also very nice?
So how did this story end? Well, A and I are still good friends to this day. It was his birthday three days ago and it makes me so happy to see him grow and mature into the man that he is. We would still catch up every so often and last winter, he actually admitted that he was falling for me and that he is willing to work hard enough to become the person that would end up with someone like me. His confession was by far one of the sweetest most genuine I've ever received and I told him that he has more confidence than a majority of the older guys that I know.
What did I learn from A? I've learned that while mutual attraction is inevitable, in some cases, you can't bring two people who are walking separate roads together. He's still in Hawaii and plans to stay there. I'm back in Cali and I have no intentions in moving. A long distance relationship would just be too difficult and we weren't cut for that. Correction, I'm no longer cut for that or any type of relationship for that matter.
Through him, I've learned how to look at things from outside of the box instead of in.
Boy #2 Let's call him 'Z'
It was just a nice casual day and I was coordinating one of the biggest events at the station. My supervisor asked me to sort out a bunch of gifts when a guy walked by my table and said to me, "Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is ---"
"Shhhh" I placed my finger over his mouth before he could finish his sentence. "18, 19, 20."
He stared at me strangely and that was when I finally turned to see who interrupted my thought process. There he was. Indisputably one of the most handsome guys I've ever met with eyes that would make any girl swoon for days. What is up with me and meeting these mixes? I know. I'd hate me too.
"Hi, I'm Khanh. It's nice to meet you."
The rest of the afternoon went really well. He and I shared stories about our past relationships, journalism aspirations, and etc. Like A, meeting Z was completely uncalled for, but aren't those the best stories to tell?
So how did this story end? We talked for awhile, but eventually, I told him the same thing I told A. Call me in four years. Although it may seem like I was kidding at the time, I wouldn't say something I didn't mean. Four years is a good amount of time for someone to grow, but that wasn't the main problem. Z was barely starting another chapter of his academic life, while I just ended mine. It couldn't have progressed any further and I was absolutely okay with that. I gained a friend and it didn't hurt that he was absolutely wonderful to look at.
What did I learn from Z? I've never been one to analyze my mild attraction to those younger than me but then I realize that it had little to do with age itself. Z was charming, mature, and he even laughed at my jokes even when everyone else knows that it wasn't even funny to begin with. Overall, he had all the right qualities, but we both weren't looking for something at the time, so of course, the fire eventually wore off.
Boy #3 Let's call him 'P' P because out of all three, what we had was the most passionate.
There I was in the middle of a mosh pit when I pulled out my phone and was about to text the guy I had been dating (who pretty much fucked everything up because he was being a slore *Urban dictionary* the word). My little bro saw what I was doing and immediately, he pulled my phone away.
"You're not going to text him," he said. "I won't let you."
That was probably the best thing my little did for me that day because moments later, I turned around and saw P. Our eyes met. I'm telling you, there's just something so powerful about a good strong eye contact. A couple of minutes later, he walked over to me only to introduce himself to my friends.
'Oh, wait that's not awkward at all,' I thought to myself. After a minute or so, he was right behind me and then I felt a light tap on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I don't think I introduced myself to you yet." I smiled because I knew it all along and that it was part of his original plan. Friends first, me last. Got it.
"No, you haven't and I was wondering why not," I said.
He smiled at me and then I smiled back.
The rest of the evening was absolutely incredible. He had his muscled arms wrapped around my entire body and we dance. We danced until the headliner was gone and we danced until everyone walked back to their respective cars. And let me tell you, nothing beats walking out of a venue with the cutest guy in the room.
So how did this story end? It didn't. At least not yet. We still talk here and there and I even saw him about a month and a half ago. Still handsome as ever, still built as ever.
What did I learn from P? First off, he was only a year younger than me so the difference wasn't even that big of a deal in the first place. Though I had to mention that he did lie about his age when I told him mine. We had fun and it was everything I thought it was going to be. Passionate, crazy, but like most of my encounters, it was also very short-lived. It didn't take long for me to realize that I have bigger callings in life and that he wouldn't be able to give me any of that. We were two separate people, living completely different lives and dreams...who just so happens to meet at the right time, right place. That's all that it is.
Thank you for reading my stories :) I know it's a bit longer than my average posts, but this is something I don't mind sharing with you because it has taught me so much about myself and the type of man that I want in my life. I don't discriminate when it comes to age, religious beliefs, or ethnicities. My heart is still open to the rare breed who is capable of getting to know such a woman. But more than ever, I have learned that it's perfectly okay to be picky (not because I think that I am better than the other person) but because it's my way of holding my grounds. And if you're going to ask for my preference now, I would more than likely choose the older man.
There's something so much more alluring about a person who has seen and lived more of life than I have ;) But more on that next time.
For now, please take care and stay warm my friends.