Something Different

I'm sixteen days into 2015 and I can already sense a big change coming through. Four months before the new year, I spent every Thursday and Friday nights dancing on tables, singing along to my favorite songs, and making memories I sometimes can/cannot recall. And it was great. I made new friends, got in touch old with ones, and had a great time. My friend Brian always told me that I should start acting like my age rather than someone 6-7 years my senior, but I couldn't help it. That's just the way that my mind operates. I'm in a healthy and strong twenty two year old body; at the same time, my head is always thinking about precautions, the future, and responsibilities. As much as I love to play, I know that there will be some great things in store for me this year so my ultimate priority right now is to stay focus on that golden prize aka my career. Over the past two weeks or so, I've been scheduling interviews, meditating at least once a day, and learning to enjoy the simple act of being by myself. The first week was extremely difficult for me. I had the sudden urge to go out and have another crazy night with the girls, but then I realized that that's not what I want anymore. Although I don't mind being around my friends while enjoying good quality music, nothings brings me more happiness than when I'm at peace. When my body, mind, and soul are in touch with one another.

A lot of things always race through my head, especially during this time period. Normally, it would make me feel very nervous, but not this time around. I'm actually very positive and enthusiastic when I think about the future and the things I want to do. Any person who knows me will say that once I set my mind to something, nothing and no one can stop me from achieving it, not even myself. I guess this year has a lot to do with me trying to discover who I am and what I am, to find the balance between my egos, and to simply embrace me for everything that I am.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still fun. I'm still lively. But I want to be around people who is understanding of my priorities and doesn't question my decisions as to why I choose not to attend [insert name of event here]. It's only temporary; however, I'm extremely excited whenever I look back and see how far I've come.

Big shoutout to the friends who stayed patient with me. You guys have shown me so much compassion. I love you all.