"I challenge you to live for yourself. It's a few simple words, but the challenge exists in between the words. Get to know yourself from the inside out, love every part of you, even the parts no one knows about and even you cannot openly accept.
You know my perspective on beauty. It isn't a matter of physical appearance. It's an amalgamation of everything that makes a person who they are. Beauty is comprised of and nuance. Embrace your beauty from the inside out.
I also pose another challenge: do not give any guy your time of day unless he can see you through the eyes of your best friends. At the very least, if not more." - ECC
I wasn't always like this...meaning that I wasn't always in a state in which I placed others before myself. I was a very selfish child growing up. What's mine is mine. I didn't like to share or express my ideas or emotions. I only thought about myself and my own needs. And for seventeen and a half years, I stayed selfish. At seventeen and a half years old, I met my first love. Unlike others, it wasn't the parental love that I felt first. It was the love that I received from my best friend at the time. Although things didn't work out (obviously), I walked away with several life lessons. 1) Do not be selfish with those you love 2) To give when you can 3) To love someone unconditionally 4) Expect nothing in return. By loving that one person endlessly for two years, I was also able to transfer all of my heart to other things--- my career, my body, my friends, and more importantly, my family.
Things slowly took a change and without even realizing it, I found an abundance amount of happiness and satisfaction each and every single time I was able to give a part of myself to someone else. In turn, I have neglected my personal, mostly internal, issues as well as my physical health. I suffered from sleep deficiency. I had unusual eating habits. Lastly, I was always always exhausted and out of breathe. Although it's less severe now, Emily's words reminded me of the importance that comes with taking care of oneself. School is a priority. Work is a priority. Your loved ones are a priority. However, YOU, yourself should also be on the top of that list.
So here are a couple of more things I would like to do this year:
- Be more selfish (ie. mini get-away, read a book, explore some place alone or someone who is comfortable with silence)
- Be more open to try something different (ie. I'll start off small by ordering a drink other than Peppermint Frap at Starbucks)
- Be more forgiving of myself. I am always the first person I would blame every single time something bad happens. However, I can't always be 100% in control of every occurrences in my life and that's perfectly okay
So with that, I just wanted to say that I'm extremely excited about these two challenges. I'm grateful for her and for the love that has pushed me to come this far. Thanks, Em. I'll work hard at it.
As always, Fight On!