Jonathan and I were talking about our first dinner date yesterday night and how one of the first things we discussed was the qualities we wanted in a significant partner. I teased him for never really asking me what it was that I was looking for, but not realizing the fact that I haven't thought about this subject matter in a really long time. I told you, I've stopped looking. Because of that, I've stopped having expectations (there is still a clear distinction between not having expectations vs. not having standards). The latter is something I do and will always have. I woke up earlier this afternoon feeling extremely anxious. In a way, I was almost annoyed at myself for being sick for this long. Today's Day 6. While talking to a good friend of mine, he asked me if I was getting restless. "This is the break you didn't want. But you know, it's a good one to have. It's God's way of telling you, 'Khanh, slow it down." I told him I've already been "slowing it down." He suggested me to meditate. Stubborn me outwardly said, "No, I'm not going to." Obviously noticing my odd behavior, he said something to me that only a friend of a couple years would have been able to tell. "Cheer up. It's not even 1 PM yet. Focus on something else." He suggested that I should go pay more attention to my little brother, ask him how he's doing, and if I'm still bothered, I should go through my closet and get rid of unwanted clothes. While I must have sounded like a complete brat this entire time, I knew my friend genuinely cared about my well being. And he was also absolutely right. Instead of being a Debbie Downer and stressing myself even more, I had to channel what's left of my energy to more positive things. Yes, I do not have a say in how fast I can recover from this cold, I do have full control over my attitude so there's no reason for me to be so hard on myself.
After deciding I should actually take my friend's advice, I went on to watch a segment on Oprah of a 38 year old man who conquered his weight and lost 300 pounds in two years. Not only that, but he was able to find love for the first time in twenty years and later proposed to her on the show. I also watched a newly released vlog by Big Sean on patience and the power of waiting. He said, "Patience is the ability to accept trouble, suffer, delay, without getting angry or upset. I feel like if you can master patience, you can master anything." He went on to talk about the daily things we usually seek in life, whether it's a a check, a job, or a goal and that no matter what the monetary or non-monetary dream may be, everything great requires tenacity and the ability to stay patient.
These past couple of day has been quite the learning experience for me. I learned how to appreciate my body, sick and all. I learned that the same people who are there for me when I'm at my best are the same people who will be there with me when I'm at my worst. Seriously, could I be any more spoiled with these constant check-ins and love? Lastly, I'm thankful for the friend who has been nothing but patient with me this entire time, reminding me to look for the light at the end of the tunnel.
Jonathan asked me yesterday what I looked for a in a guy. I found an answer now. I want a person who challenges me to be the better version of myself. Big thanks to my special friend for being that person since Day 1.
Full Transcript of Big Sean's video
Patience is the ability to accept trouble, suffer, delay, without getting angry or upset. I feel like if you can master patience, you can master anything. To sit and plan out your goals and dreams, strategize, understand how the universe works, how things manifest. The time it takes is part of your own learning process. It's hard to realize this when things aren't coming fast enough—whether it's a check, a job, a loan, a dream, a goal—it all takes patience.
Always remember with the proper attention from the higher place, the purest place, the highest vibration, you'll always get what you want. There's no point in rushing. If you rush too much, you might not get where you're going. Usually when you're rushing, you're stressing. It can affect the quality of anything and everything you're doing. You might have 1,000 strikes before you hit a home run. To see the bottom is to see that the top is just as real and just as obtainable.
I realize patience is key for happiness. It allows you to be happier, to see the bigger picture in everything. I feel like wisdom is priceless, and patience is a major part of that. There are certain things you can control, some you can't, but when you approach situations with patience, you're bringing your best self to that situation—giving yourself the best chance of success of whatever's at hand.
I learned there are a lot of lessons in patience. It can teach us a lot of things. I could give you 100 stories on how I wish I could've went back in time to talk to myself, tell me to 'calm down or relax. Don't let this throw you off.' When I graduated high school, I decided to focus on music. It was one of the hardest things to watch all my homies at school, especially the schools I could've went to. I felt like everyone around me was progressing, and I was at a standstill. Man, I was doing a lot of reading. I realized you have to recognize you're own process, and it can't be measured by anything but happiness.
Just remember your journey is the most important part of the story—not the trophy. The time I spent frustrated, the press, afraid of what might happen or not happen was the worst things I ever went through. The worst feelings I ever felt. I didn't get anywhere thinking or feeling like that. It was when I got out of that way of thinking that it all started turning around.
I realized that a man who masters patience is a master at everything else. To make it to the top of your game, it takes patience.