After my friend's encouragements, I decided to do something new this year on top of meditating and reading actual novels. Every day, I would write down something that makes me happy. I called it, "Happy Moments of 2015." I'm going to share a couple of those moments with you right now (skipped a few days because I wanted to keep some of these things to myself) Also, I did not want my crushes to wound up on my page and read this aha
January 28th -
Stacey told me, “I honestly think you’re a very good friend to always remind your friends what is best for them”
January 30th -
Little Bro Jeff took me out to Fogo de Chao. He even bought me a single red rose. It was so beautiful. "If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it right," he says.
January 31st -
AMP Radio reblogged one of my tweets when I said that I don’t want to get out of the car because the mix was too good.
Eugene and I celebrated our second annual DineLA dinner together. 3 course meal, great conversation, perfect evening as always.
February 3rd -
This really cute boy followed me on IG.
But I'm about to share with you one of my happiest moments, thus far and this post is dedicated to that very special person.
February 7th -
Yesterday, I went home with a small fever. My body was filled with goosebumps, my head felt heavy, and I knew that despite of my clean regime and daily exercise, I was eventually going to fall ill.
Before I went to bed, I logged onto Facebook and found this beautiful message written by someone who has supported me and watched me grow throughout these years.
The message said, "I admire your work, writing, and you as a person. You’re an amazing person. I’ve seen so much growth from you, from when I saw you back during HS to the person you are today. Xoxo, keep it up, I know you’ll get where you want to and do the things you love to do. I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts! When I’m feeling down & see your twitter posts, which lead to your blog posts, I read them and they lift me up and make me think. You’re a strong, independent young woman who strives for the best for yourself as well as for the ones you love and care about. And I’m glad to be able to stumble upon your posts, which allows me to shape myself into a person I would like myself to be rather than what the society is trying to shape me as. I am honestly really REALLY thankful to get to be a viewer, subscriber, follower & hopefully a friend to you. Thank you I appreciate you, lots. Stay beautiful, dear."
To the incredible person who has reached out to me,
Hello, my dear. I am going to personally send you a private message by the time you read this blog post, but I thought it was only fair if I could give you a little surprise. I am often inspired by every single thing around me. A painting. A child's smile. My friend's obnoxious laugh. But today, I wanted to write to you, for you. You who have inspired me. While I don't have much monetary possession, I wanted to gift to you something that means so much to me. My honest thoughts.
These past two nights I fell asleep crying. Two nights ago, I was thinking about my mother and the expectations she has paced on me and how I was disappointing her because I refuse to play by the books. I also contemplated a lot about the sacrifices I've made and the amazing relationships I have chosen to let go with the fear that it would distract me from building my career. I felt overwhelmingly anxious and exhausted. Physically, I was stronger than ever. I've been consistent with my workouts and I try to stay active as much as possibly I can. Emotionally and mentally, I felt like I had lost all the energy to go about my day as a happy camper. It's funny because I never realized I felt this way until I laid in bed, coughed up an entire storm, and then it hit me. I was feeling an insurmountable amount of stress. It was in that very moment right before I was about to cry myself once again to sleep when I opened my Facebook inbox and saw your message.
You thanked me for everything and yet you're the one who has helped saved me. I know that a lot of us wake up every day with the intentions of getting through the day, finishing up tasks, and making our parents happy etc. For me, it has always been about making a difference in someone's life. No matter how big or small. If I could touch someone even without physically touching them, I feel like I've already achieve my day's purpose. You reminded me of something very special yesterday night. You reminded me of a woman that is strong, ambitious, and is unapologetically herself. You reminded me of the person I've always strived to be and yet in your eyes, I am all of that and more.
I can never thank you enough for your support throughout these years. You could have easily been one of those people who suddenly jumps on that Khanh wagon because they felt like Khanh is going far in life; instead, you chose to silently support me throughout these year, to give me the strength and never asking for any recognition in return.
So with that I just wanted to say I love you, even without ever extending a real life conversation with you. A friendship and support like this one is hard to come by and I'm so lucky to have had play a role in your life and you in mine.
I hope you can always, always find a friend, a cheerleader, a mentor in me.