There comes a time when you have to stop crossing ocean for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you.
I’m an open book with a strong social media presence. This is not some underlying secret or something I would even attempt to deny because it’s absolutely true. I love Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and the list goes on. While a number of people shorten up their names on Facebook to prevent their future employees from scanning their online profiles, I would do just the opposite. Why? Because I do not owe anyone an explanation as to why I do what I do and who I choose to spend my time with. There's no 'shady business' that people shouldn't know about and I have very little skeleton in my closet to begin with. Truth is, I love dancing and raving. I have more guy friends than I do girl friends. I go out every weekend. And I have my fair share of crazy college escapades. But you know what? I also work extremely hard. I am a full-time student with back to back meetings, dance practices, essays, and presentations. I sign up for extra seminars because I love learning. I’m constantly adding things to my resume and I have a very good reason to wake up every morning. It’s not to say that things are a complete breeze for me. And while I did not mind answering questions from others, nowadays, it has become increasingly difficult because people’s approach can be quite forward and needless to say, extremely impolite. Furthermore, I am running out of things to say! Correction, being that I love to spice up my responses; I am running out of creative things to say. I mean how many different ways can I really answer the question “How did you get your job?” without sounding completely annoyed by the end of the conversation? Oh, and my second favorite question of all time: So are you two dating? To which my go-to response is: Trust me honey, if I’m dating somebody…you would know. Or something along those lines, but you get the picture.
Yesterday night, I received an unexpected message from an old friend of whom I have not talked to for a good four and a half years.
“Hi, Khanh. Long time no talk and see. Tell me more about your life, dreams, and aspirations.”
Although I do value mannerism, I had no idea how to approach his question without sounding like a complete jerk so I settled with, ‘You haven’t talked to me for awhile now so what prompted you to ask about my life and aspirations?’ What I really should have said was, “You can’t just walk out of my life without a single warning and come back as you please. It’s an extremely selfish thing to do and it’s not okay.” Now I am not trying to be inconsiderate about the whole ordeal, but these are etiquettes that should not have been broken in the first place. Therefore, I do have the right to protect my public and private affairs. The Khanh from two years ago would have held her tongue, but it’s safe to say that I am no longer that girl. I was bothered. I woke up and felt quite a number of mixed emotions---anger, irritation…you name it. It was a combination of everything that has been on my mind for the past couple of days as I tried to justify every other person’s means and intentions. But surprisingly enough, all of that changed when I received this photo text message from my best friend.
After sending my save-the-date yesterday morning, Steven just booked his flight in order to attend my college graduation. This just goes to show that despite all of the negative energy I have been feeling, the toxic residue would only impact my mental and physical health if I choose to wear my negative goggles. On the other hand, I can also decide to change my perspective and appreciate all the people and things I should be grateful for. So moral of my story is that there is always a constructive way to release certain energies. If it’s positive, spread it. If it’s negative, let it go and move on. I don't want to hold grudges or fume over the questions that I am constantly being bombarded with. The lingering animosity should not consume my energy because believe it or not, it has affected my driving, focus, and attitude this past week and that’s also not okay. So here’s my alternative way of approaching this in a constructive manner. I will make a list (I love lists) of the 5 things I am grateful for.
- I am grateful for my best friend. You’ve inspired me everyday for the past ten years. You’ve been my role model, my mentor, and my support. I cannot wait to see you on May 16th.
- I am grateful for my parents. Everything I do, I do it for the both of you (and the little booger).
- I am grateful for the gym. My escape. How would I keep my sanity without you?
- I am grateful for my body. I am sorry for not treating you as well as I should. I’ll work harder on that healthy living grind. I promise.
- I am grateful for my education. #FTFO
Phew* I am honestly feeling much better already.
Have a nice day everybody!